Cry for Me
by damselindistress2
Summary: It has been so long and Misao is tired........too tired to go on with her life.......would Aoshi ever cry if she were gone? Would he even spare her a glance?.....maybe


A/N- sorry that it's not my other fic that I'm writing but I just couldn't help myself. I just HAD to write this after hearing the song so you all better download it before reading this fic! School is starting in 4 days so I might not be bale to get the next chapter up so fast for my other fic but I'll try! Just cheer me on people and this one shot is suppose to be sad. So TRY and be sad after reading it cause i can't write so well..  
  
Disclaimer- I don't won the song. so just read the damn story..please?  
  
Cry for Me  
  
Songfic  
  
Faith Hill- Cry  
  
Misao slowly awakens from her slumber, groggily stretching her tired limbs, as the sky is still dark. Bags could be detected under her blue-green eyes, showing what little sleep that she had gotten. Brightness no longer existed in her eyes, nor was she feeling happy. Heaving a sigh, Misao sat up from her futon while cradling her head from dizziness. It was at least a few hours before dawn and the color of the sky seemed to reflect Misao's feelings. Dark, cold and gloomy. The whole room seemed to be filled with depression so thick that you could almost touch it, only to have it engulf and trap you, never letting go, staying with you forever until you couldn't stand living anymore. And that was exactly how Misao felt.  
  
Despite her attempts, Misao couldn't keep her mind off of the painful memory. What happened 2 days ago had been one of the worst experiences of her life. It pained her every time she thought about it and Misao's heart was, and has been, slowly wearing away. She had been up more then half of the night feeling the pain of the past few days overwhelm her with depression as it slowly gathered inside her, surrounding her. Thus, resulting in only a mere 3 or 4 hours of sleep. Resisting the urge to cry again like the many times before, Misao attempted to inflict physical pain on herself to help her forget. Looking around the room, Misao spotted her kunai placed neatly on her desk. Laughing bitterly to herself, she reached for one of them, never knowing that she would be using the kunai to hurt herself, out of all people. Misao held the tip of the sharp object to her wrist and slashed it, watching the blood ooze out of the wound, trying to concentrate on the pain instead of the memory. However, another flash of pain was evident in her eyes as the memory flooded her senses yet again and her hands shook, still holding her kunai.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The clattering of cups could be heard as Makimachi Misao walked towards the temple with a tea tray in hand. Frustration was evident in her expression and the feeling of distress flowed in strong waves from her being. She was tired, very tired of waiting. Its been 5 years since Aoshi came back and Misao had wasted 5 years of her life trying to really bring him back to everyone. All she did was give, give and give. Misao had done everything in her way to help Aoshi realize her feelings for him and to give her a reaction to any of it. She knew that Aoshi was a smart man and surely he would've noticed but he just doesn't do anything. Not even so much as a smile or frown. Always silence, as if she didn't exist. Misao would have even been happy with an "I'm sorry" so she could just give up and move on with her life. She had wasted too much of her life waiting for nothing. Now was the last straw and Misao Makimachi was TIRED. Today was the day that she would make a reaction come out of him, even if it means being rejected. Walking into the temple, her expression held one of great determination. Aoshi had sensed something different about Misao the moment she reached the steps of the temple and a feeling of dread had settled itself in the pit of his stomach.  
  
Setting down the tray, Misao greeted Aoshi and proceeded on preparing the tea. Handing Aoshi his cup, Misao stared at the steam rising from her cup as she slowly gathered her thoughts on what to say. Noting her unusual silence, Aoshi gazed questioningly at Misao, waiting for her to speak. Sensing his eyes on her, Misao took a deep breath, and decided to confront him.  
  
"Aoshi-sama" said Misao, feeling more anger well up inside her at his lack of response, as always.  
  
"It's been 5 years since you came back and you do know that everyone here in the Oniwabanshu has forgiven you. But why do you continue torturing yourself like this?"  
  
The slight tensing of his shoulders showed that he indeed felt the impact of those words. Knowing that the day of confrontation would come, Aoshi was caught by surprise, not knowing it would come so soon.  
  
"You continue to ignore us and don't even spare us much as a glance for our efforts. And as for me, I believe I deserve at least a word of gratitude towards everything that I have done for you. I have given up too much and still I receive nothing. You are a smart man Aoshi and I know as well as the others that you are conscious of my feelings towards you."  
  
A slight pain had touched his heart as the -sama wasn't used in his name anymore, showing how Misao no longer respected him in such a manner. The depression had slowly started to build up as Misao continued on.  
  
"I have given you 5 years of my life entirely doing nothing for myself and only for you, but I realized how much time and effort that I have wasted." Another slash of pain had hit Aoshi's heart, this one, much deeper, hearing the word "wasted". "All I keep doing is giving and giving and all I ask was for a little something in return. I had given you my tears, my youth, my time, my heart, and my entire life and yet you don't even spare me much of a glance! I love you Shinomori Aoshi and all I'm asking for is an answer to my feelings. Either take it or leave it because I am absolutely tired and this is the last straw!"  
  
Sadness and guilt had overwhelmed him at hearing all the pain he has caused. Yes he had known about her feelings all along but had been too afraid to answer to it. Seeing how much pain he had caused her, Aoshi, as always, blamed himself for everything and labeled himself unworthy of her love. And thus, deciding that he had been putting this off for too long, rose to meet Misao's eyes. Immediately, Aoshi's heart constricted in pain and the words left him in a flash, not even leaving a trace of it ever being there. The look on her face had stolen his words that would put any skilled thief to shame. Misao's expression held one of so much hope and love but it was clear that she was tired, very tired indeed. Not being able to stand looking anymore, Aoshi abruptly turned his head away, leaving a disappointed Misao staring with eyes full of sadness, loss, and anger.  
  
"So that's how it is. You still wouldn't even bother to say even a word to me. All I asked for was some reaction! A sorry, maybe an expression of pain or even a tear! But no, you wouldn't even waste a breath or heartbeat for me when I practically gave my whole life to you! Well Aoshi, this was the last chance and now that it's gone, I guess I will be as well. Sayonara Shinomori."  
  
And with that, Misao walked out of the temple having already run out of tears to cry for him and it was his turn to do so. Noting how she distanced herself even more with him after that last word of "Shinomori", Aoshi felt pain overflowing his being and his shell had began to crack. From the moment that she had entered the temple, they already had been drifting farther and farther away from each other by the second. Telling himself that it was for the best, Aoshi tried to meditate to keep himself from breaking even more then he was already.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
That was 2 days ago when Misao had come back to the Aoiya even more tired than she was before. Today was the day that she would be gone from here forever. Seeing that it was only 1 or 2 hours away before dawn, Misao went to get dressed as depression enveloped her, adding another layer as each minute passed. After getting dressed, Misao settled down on her desk, preparing to write a letter addressed to Aoshi himself.  
  
It was dawn and the Aoiya was bustling with activity as everyone rose from slumber preparing for the new day that has arrived. Walking into the kitchen, Okon and Omasu was seen preparing breakfast for the residents in the Aoiya. The tea tray lay on the kitchen table ready for Misao to take to the temple for today.  
  
"Ohayou Misao-chan!" greeted Okon and Omasu cheerfully. "Ohayou" replied Misao in a less cheerful manner that got the two women worried. Exchanging glances, Omasu walked towards Misao planning on asking her what was wrong. But before she could utter even a word, Misao spoke with a tired and weary voice. "I didn't get much sleep last night so could you bring Aoshi...- sama his tea today again instead? I have somewhere I need to be again and I don't know when I'll be back."  
  
Sensing something wrong since 2 days ago, Omasu obeyed Misao's wishes and proceeded to reach for the tray until Misao stopped her. Handing Omasu a note, Misao explained. "Could you please give this to Aoshi? I don't want anyone else to read it and I trust that you wouldn't. I would appreciate it very much." Nodding, Omasu took the note from her hand and walked out the door with an expression of great worry on her face from hearing no "- sama" in Aoshi's name. Glancing around the room for the last time, Misao silently apologized to everyone. Smiling slightly at Okon, Misao headed back to her room to gather her things.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Aoshi detected footsteps coming towards the temple doors and noted that it wasn't Misao. "Of course it wouldn't be her. Not after what happened 2 days ago. Why would it matter anyway? You wanted it this way didn't you?"  
  
Just as that last thought was finished, Omasu appeared through the doors yet again. However, Aoshi noted that there was something in her hand that appeared to be a letter. Sensing Omasu's distress, a feeling of dread settled inside him once again. After preparing the tea and handing Aoshi the letter, Omasu bowed and took her leave back to the Aoiya. Slowly, Aoshi lifted the letter off the floor and proceeded to open it to read what was to be the last thing he ever wanted to read.  
  
Dear Aoshi,  
  
Has it really been 5 years since you came back? I could still remember when you, Hannya and the others played with me everyday. You were always there to comfort me when I was depressed and I love you for that. I wanted to bring that Aoshi back and so I decided that I would be willing to do anything for you just like how you did for me. But still, after 5 very long and tiring years, I have come to realize that I have nothing more left to give you. I have lost all hope and I am very tired. I give up and that last talk with you was the last straw. You have successfully stolen everything that I have and you won't ever give it back. By the time you finish this note, I would have probably left you as well as this world for eternity. Just tell the others that my body is laying by the river if you would bother to waste that much air on saying it. I was hoping to get some feeling of pain from you or even so much as a tear but I know that you wouldn't care right? I wish that I could see what you look like right now but I know I wouldn't see any reaction from you. Because after all...wishes don't come true.  
  
Love, Makimachi Misao  
  
And in all the years of his life, a lone tear rolled down Aoshi's slender cheek to fall and imprint itself in the letter forever, granting Misao's last wish.  
  
Song lyrics  
  
Faith Hill Cry  
  
If I had just one tear running down your cheek  
  
Maybe I could cope maybe I'd get some sleep  
  
If I had just one moment at your expense  
  
Maybe all my misery would be well spent  
  
Yeah.... Could you cry a little  
  
Lie just a little  
  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
  
I gave now I 'm wanting  
  
Something in return  
  
So cry just a little for me  
  
If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key  
  
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me  
  
And you'd hunt those lies  
  
They'd be all you'd ever find  
  
And that'd be all you'd have to know  
  
For me to be fine  
  
Yeah.... And you'd cry a little  
  
Die just a little  
  
and baby I would feel just a little less pain  
  
I gave now I'm wanting  
  
Something in return  
  
So cry just a little for me  
  
Give it up baby  
  
I hear your goodbye  
  
Nothins goin save me  
  
I can see it in your eyes  
  
Some kind of heartache  
  
Darlin give it a try  
  
I dont want pity  
  
I just want what is mine  
  
Yeah... Could you cry a little  
  
Lie just a little  
  
Pretend that your're feeling a little more pain  
  
I gave now I'm wanting  
  
Something in return  
  
So cry just a little for me  
  
Yeah... Cry just a little for me  
  
woo ooo, could you cry a little for me  
  
yeah, yeah  
  
A/N- yea, yea.. I know, I know..just ONE TEAR..but we all know that he would be breaking down in sobs by the time he reaches her dead body. For the few people who would have read this......DID I GET A TEAR OUT OF YOU????!!!! I hope I did cause that was the purpose of this fic. After hearing that song I just had to write this. Tell if it's good or not ok? I REALLY need some encouragement because I lack a whole lot of it...so PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! 


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